The circuit joins WhatsApp

The Dappleshire Circuit now has a WhatsApp group, set up after the September circuit meeting by Miss Petra Jameson on the grounds that somebody ought to. Membership stands at forty seven, which is not the same thing as forty seven members.

Three of the forty seven are Mrs Freda Cattermole, who joined from her telephone, her tablet and a second telephone kept in the car for emergencies. All three have been left in place, nobody being sure which one she reads. A fourth member is a bat.

Barnabas was added by the Hawksmere Sunday school, who have had the names of all seven since the survey and felt he was being left out. He has not posted and has not left, which is held up regularly as an example to those who have done both.

The most listened-to item so far is an eleven-minute voice note from Cecil Hobday, recorded inside his coat pocket. It contains a quantity of walking, a door, and the whole of a conversation about a fridge. Mr Hobday maintains that he meant to send something.

Rev’d Wendy Warburton has proposed three rules: nothing after nine, no photographs of the rota, and no forwarding of anything about the end of the world. Wilfred Stanhope has asked for the group to be minuted. Doreen Pickles, who has no telephone of that sort, takes the highlights each evening on the other sort, and is widely thought to have got the better of it.