Wesley’s sponsored silence passes off quietly

The Wesley roof appeal’s sponsored silence took place in the church hall at Dappleford on Saturday 26 September and, by general agreement, passed off quietly. Fourteen people sat in silence for three hours, and several sponsors who had called the idea optimistic in August have had to pay up.

Rev’d Wendy Warburton set the rules, which allowed no talking, humming or meaningful looks. Coughing was permitted with a note. Wilfred Stanhope asked for the afternoon to be minuted, and the minutes are thought to be the shortest the church has ever kept.

There were early casualties. Cecil Hobday lasted forty minutes, at which point his coat pocket began to play a voice note about a fridge. Doreen Pickles’ tea urn, which had not been sponsored, came to the boil at a quarter past three and was heard on the far side of Main Street.

Mr Ambrose Tilley arrived in the pantomime tights, for reasons nobody was in a position to ask about. Mrs Freda Cattermole completed the full three hours, found it very restful, and has had a great deal to say about it since.

The silence raised £142 for the appeal. Asked for a running total, the treasurer said she would rather not break the silence.